Defeated?

I wake up in the morning vowing to be a better mother. And by the end of the day I am hoarse from telling my daughter 100 times to leave her brother alone or to stop tormenting the dog. I feel defeated thinking how much I would have rather been hoarse from singing songs and laughing.

I wake up vowing to eat better and by lunch time I have been to the pantry more times then I can count. I feel defeated thinking how much I want to lose this last bit of baby weight.

I wake up vowing to run my old loop around the neighborhood and I feel defeated when I am too tired to even try or I only make it a few yards farther then last time.

I wake up vowing to complete all of my physical therapy exercises and feel defeated when I make it only through a fraction of them.

I wake up vowing to get the toilets scrubbed and the floors clean and feel defeated when all I manage is to get the toys picked up or the dishes put away. (notice I said or, it is usually an or, not and)

I wake up vowing to be a better wife and yep you guessed it... I feel defeated when I can't remember if I even asked him how his day was.

Am I defeated? Not hardly. I would be defeated if I didn't wake up and try to be better. And I really feel that if I keep trying I will get better at something if not all things. I am just going to keep on, keepin on.