Robbing Peter to Pay Paul

After several heated discussions with my husband I have decided there is no way to get everything done.

I have been back at the gym and I am excited to be back running. The problem? An hour and a half trip to the gym puts me an hour and a half behind at home. I get back and depending on when I left I am either scrambling to get dinner made or my daughter in the bath tub. By the time I feel like I can breath I look at the clock and its 9, the time that baby boy and I prefer to be in bed with the lights out.

There you have it. So what gives? My alone time with my hubby and a calm end to our day.

I could try to get more done during the day but I am having a difficult time occupying my 2 year old daughter without the help of the television. I would stick her in the backyard but she doesn't stay where I can see her.

What to do....I am struggling. As soon as I walk through the door my "runners high" quickly sinks to a low as my family all starts making their demands. Not that they are really demanding they just have needs. My husband is also struggling with the same thing but he doesn't see the kids all day so he misses out on them in lieu of yard work or a little exercise. So then I panic because in 4 short weeks I throw work into my mix too.

I am panicking. Going back to work is daunting. I love my job and in all honesty we rely on my income. I would switch roles and have my hubby stay home but he provides the insurance for himself and the kiddos. He stayed home with my daughter until she was 9 months old and even then she had limited time in daycare. Now with an infant with MCADD I am struggling to not at the very least do the same for him. I am scared for him and want to know I am doing what is right for him. I keep telling myself that I have given it to God and that whatever the solution, it will give me peace in my heart. So far no ideas we can come up with is doing that for me. I may have to take a huge leap of faith to keep my hubby home at least when I am at work and to sacrifice a little us time and extras now while the kids are young. Maybe I haven't fully given it to him. I trust that his will is what is best for us. I just feel like time is running out.