Yesterday was one of those days where all we really did was survive.
I was feeling extreme guilt for letting my two year old have a Dora the Explorer marathon. Luckily my hubby came home and we all went for a walk to soak up the sun, it has been very rainy the last 4 weeks and it was nice to catch the sun while it was out. We were only out for 15 minutes but that has to erase a few minutes of Dora from my guilty conscience. Right?
Baby was pretty fussy all day so he took pretty much all my attention all day. As I was trying to go to bed my two year old started crying out in her sleep. Oh how I wish my husband had still been home. As I ran to her room the baby of course started screaming. I took him with me into her room, I held her as he lay screaming on the foot of her bed. Mommy guilt is the worst kind of guilt in the entire world. Luckily my daughter was easy to get back to sleep even with the baby screams coming from the end of her bed. But that was all it took to feel defeated. I had planned to make the baby transition easy for my two year old but I don't feel like I am doing a very good job.
Speaking of jobs I admitted to my husband that being at work sounded better then being at home lately. Of course I feel guilty and when the time comes for me to go back to work I am going to be devastated. I still haven't quite figured out how that is going to work. I am praying that God will give me direction and will help us choose the right thing to do.
I am going to throw a goal into all of this: do something special for my daughter this week.
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